A few weeks ago, about 40 members of our community assembled to share their insights and questions about parenting with a panel of three experts. Our experts were Tracy Elizabeth, Brendan Randall (both educational consultants who conduct research at Harvard Graduate School of Education) and writer/consultant and expert on fatherhood, Dun Unger. As the mother of twin 4 year old boys, I felt fortunate enough to be present as the moderator.
Below I’ve extracted and rephrased for succinctness some of the key questions that arose. Since audience members contributed answers in addition to anelists, I’ve combined answers from the panelists with ideas provided by the audience.
Q: How does a lot of screen time influence children’s brains and learning?
A: At present, the evidence indicates that children can learn from screens. Books vs. screens have different advantages and disadvantages, but there is no evidence that one is superior to the other as a way of learning.
Q: How can parents make sure that children are getting a high quality media experience? Is there a humanist TV network?
A: Consult the website common sense media. Experts review apps, games, videos and blogs.
Although there isn’t a humanist network, many cartoons for young children highlight enjoyment and preservation of nature (like Wild Krats), and teach prosocial values like helping and cooperation (Paw Patrol, Callie’s Wild West).
To reduce screen time to make room for family and other activities, the following suggestions were made:
- Take a digital Sabbath (day of no screens)
- Co-viewing, with parental discussion, mitigates negative messages.
- Urge children to talk back to the commercials (discuss, criticize or make fun of commercials).
- Require children to mute the volume during commercials. During those muted minutes, exercise, stretch, tell jokes, and discuss what you liked or disliked about the show.
- Older children have their own screen time, making co-viewing difficult. Parents can anticipate what their children may have been viewing. Use the dinner table to extend co-viewing by asking: What did you see on the internet today? Everyone gets a turn: Go around the dinner table — what new website did you visit today that you hadn’t been to before?
- Turn off wifi during dinner
Q: Where can children learn humanist values?
A. Audience members discussed acquiring their values from their experiences with sports and from work.
If a child develops a positive sense of sense, that is helpful for a good outcome. What is healthy is if a child can complete an “I am____” phrase with a positive statement. This applies to any type of group membership, such as racial/ethnic heritage. Research studies suggest that good outcomes accompany feeling positively about one’s racial or ethnic heritage. The implication is that if children phrase their secular/humanist family as lacking something (such as not having religion), this is probably less optimal than having positive statements about what the family does believe in, such as social justice, helping others, appreciating nature and human achievement.
Readers, please respond with your ideas on these topics.
Our event that afternoon concluded with a question for the audience members to discuss with those around that: It has been argued by some moral-development theorists that it is easier for parents to uphold moral values in a religious context and harder for those parents in an “isolated” or secular context. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Why?
Share your opinions here or on facebook.
